Karl Blog: June 2008

Let's admit it...

We've all wanted approval at some time in our lives.

We want to be liked. We want to be loved. Even in writing this post, there's a part of me that wants you to think I'm a nice guy, and that I'm a good writer.

I'm seeking your approval.

And although wanting any form of approval is restricting, it's still a relatively normal feeling...

... In moderation.

But how many times have you seen people (not you, of course!) that have really wanted a little too much approval? Those individuals for whom approval controls them?

... The overly-eager bar-hawk that drools over the girl - and never impresses.

... The people pleaser that burns out, working for everyone - and eventually explodes.

... The weak-partner who refuses to have a personality - but exists merely to please the spouse.

Now here's the real paradox...

Wanting approval doesn't get you approval. Instead, wanting approval just makes you appear desperate, and loses you respect.

By letting go of wanting approval however, you ironically end up receiving MORE of it - and therefore become much more comfortable living in your own personality.

It's a push for some people. But if you try it, you might discover it's magic.

However, that's not the end.

Here's the true secret to freedom...

Can you let go of wanting your OWN approval?

Completely!

Sounds interesting, eh?

Can you do something without wanting your own approval for it?

This could be the last step toward freedom you need.

Remember, letting go of wanting approval doesn't mean being disrespectful, or not caring for the feelings of others. Rather, it just means that you let go of the "clingy" behaviour that "desperately wanting something" can bring. It means standing up for what you believe, and saying what you think - without worrying how others will judge you.

And I'm sure that's something YOU could do easily.

Give it a go - and have yourself a great day :)

Labels: inspiration, self-development

(Today's post is also available as an audio post. To listen to Karl read this post live, click here.)

Today, I'd like to share with you the most basic teaching in Buddhism.

That teaching is... "Everything is change."

Every single thing is in a state of flux. A state of never-ending change.

Everything is created - and everything will ultimately wear out and be reduced to earth.

Your business suit is made and worn, and will ultimately fall apart and decay. All animals are born, and will eventually die. Buildings, machines, roads, clocks, books, everything...

Everything has a beginning. And everything has an end.

It's always changing.

And so what does this teach us?

Well, for a start, it helps us to realize we can never really be in control of anything. Everything changes. Once we accept that, we let go of really wanting to control it... And simply allow ourselves to control it to the degree that we do in that moment.

But perhaps more importantly, it puts us at peace with the world.

By contemplating this teaching, we realize that everything will ultimately reduce to dust. The glass you are drinking from will ultimately break. So when that break occurs, you don't need to curse at your misfortune... But simply realise that you're witnessing it's ultimate change in progress.

The cycle of everything is not if... But when.

The teaching is designed to put you at peace. To stop you trying to grasp onto things... To stop you trying to control things... But instead to realize, without apathy or helplessness, that everything changes. Everything moves. Everything is in a continuous state of flux.

It's a teaching which puts you in a state of acceptance.

And it's incredibly empowering... If only you really get it.

Giuseppe Tomas di Lampedusa said: "If you want things to stay as they are, things will have to change."

Nothing will ever remain the same. Everything changes.

Want to learn more about this teaching? Click here, or here.